Jolanda | Relationship counselor

Relationship Counselling Zaandam

Couple Counselling or individual counselling

I work with expats, Dutch  nationals and international students. Sessions take place in Amsterdam or Zaandam. You can come to me for live sessions, we can schedule online sessions or work in a combination of live and online sessions to provide  for hectic schedules.

People come to me for varying issues, for example: relationship stress, such as break-ups, blended families, communication and toxic patterns. You can come both individually or as a couple. Other issues people come to talk to me about include: “saying no” and standing up for what you want, struggling with HSP, support while in the process of making difficult choices.

Relationship issues

*Separation

Maybe you have decided to separate and you would like to know how to go about this in the best possible way. A way that doesn’t increase the divide but bridges it. So you can keep working together for instance to the advantage of your children.

*Staying or going?

Or maybe you are in a position where you are constantly being questioned by your partner, so much so that you are starting to question your own judgement. Maybe you are wondering whether to stay or to go and you are confused and conflicted about all the different choices and their consequences.

*Old grievances

Or maybe you are burdened by a lot of old grief or old anger. There is resentment and you find yourself going back to these issues from the past, dragging them out into the present. Poisoning every interaction in the “now”.

*Betrayal

Perhaps there has been some form of betrayal and you are suffering from the result of this breach in trust, even  though you are both  trying to make it work again. How do you move forward?

* Blended or stepfamilies

You are part of a blended family, however it doesn’t really seem to blend. You might feel like the odd one out in your own home, when your partners’ children are in the house. Or you might feel as if you are caught in the middle between you partner and your children. Why can’t everyone just be nice and make an effort, like you are, might be something you ask yourself over and over again. Both positions can leave you feeling incredibly tired and drained of energy. Whether you are in one or the other position, it makes you wonder whether you are doing the right thing here. Why doesn’t it work? Isn’t love  supposed to conquer everything?

In short: I deal with relationship issues and relationship stress in several different shapes and sizes in my practice.

Would you like some support? From an open and supportive listener who can help sort out the tangled bits and pieces? To start seeing the patterns that govern your relationship. So you can get to the essence of what you do want instead of what you don’t want. Do you feel ready to take your next step and create a more peaceful life together, with more harmony and connection? Are you willing to also look at your own contribution to the patterns you are both in? Feel free to contact me. You do not have to do this all by yourself.

Issues surrounding boundaries, saying no and standing your ground

Okay, you did it again: you agreed to take on that extra project at work, while your to-do list is already off the charts. Or your partner bailed out of taking the kids while you were supposed to have your night off with friends. And yes: you end up on the sofa with the kids rather than going out with your friends. Or maybe you find yourself every time putting someone elses needs first.

Or maybe you  recognize this: You want to gently talk through something that bothers you in your relationship and at the end of the talk, you are left with the feeling of being a bit of a nag, maybe you have even apologized. “Never mind…it really isn’t that important”, you tell yourself. Do you find yourself thinking a lot along the lines of: “maybe I am being  silly/ I am overreacting/ I am too sensitive /  it isn’t that important anyway”.

Recognize any of this?  There is  good chance that you are finding it hard to stand up for yourself. To have clear boundaries between you and  others. Maybe you feel worried about arrguments or loosing  someone, maybe you just don’t really know what is important to you. Until it is already done.

When you find this difficult on a regular basis, chances are that you become depleted and exhausted at some point. When asked what you feel about something, you may actually  not be able to answer, you may start to doubt whether what you feel actually makes sense. If this is the case, it is important to explore what makes you act this way: whether it is because you have a conviction to never ask for help or whether you are so afraid of losing people that you end up pleasing everyone. Well, trying to anyway. It makes sense to see what little steps can you make to get in touch with what you truely feel and want.  

Do any of the above issues feel like they are about you? Do contact me. You don’t have to do this on your own. I am a supportive listener with ample experience and training in the field of lifecoaching and couples counselling.

Would you like to know more, have a quick introductory chat on the phone or make an appointment, do let me know. Send me a message and I’ll get back to you shortly. I look forward to seeing you soon!

Jolanda