ENGLISH TIP - Dig deeper
The most obvious emotion I encounter in Couple sessions is anger. And all sorts of emotions and feelings clustered around anger, such as irritation, feeling annoyed, feeling cranky, displeased, etc.
What I ask my clients always is: Dig Deeper. What is underneath the angry feeling?
To be clear: Nothing wrong with anger! It is an emotion that can be empowering and that is indicative of your boundaries. Excellent.
However, within relationships it's my experience that people often use it so they do not have to deal with emotions less associated with “strength”, such as pain, loss, insecurity, loneliness, not good enough, not important enough, longing. The more vulnerable emotions.
While those emotions may feel more scary and vulnerable, they will increase the connection between you and your partner.
The most effective way to deal with your angry emotions in a relationship is to dig deeper: what is lurking beneath? How do I feel underneath this layer of angry thoughts? And communicate THAT.
Difficult? Contact me and we can work together towards more connection between you and your partner.
Jolanda
Jolanda
Relationship Counselling Zaandam
Lid van Relatietherapeuten.net
Zaandam
The most obvious emotion I encounter in Couple sessions is anger. And all sorts of emotions and feelings clustered around anger, such as irritation, feeling annoyed, feeling cranky, displeased, etc.
What I ask my clients always is: Dig Deeper. What is underneath the angry feeling?
To be clear: Nothing wrong with anger! It is an emotion that can be empowering and that is indicative of your boundaries. Excellent.
However, within relationships it's my experience that people often use it so they do not have to deal with emotions less associated with “strength”, such as pain, loss, insecurity, loneliness, not good enough, not important enough, longing. The more vulnerable emotions.
While those emotions may feel more scary and vulnerable, they will increase the connection between you and your partner.
The most effective way to deal with your angry emotions in a relationship is to dig deeper: what is lurking beneath? How do I feel underneath this layer of angry thoughts? And communicate THAT.
Difficult? Contact me and we can work together towards more connection between you and your partner.
Jolanda
Jolanda
Relationship Counselling Zaandam
Lid van Relatietherapeuten.net
Zaandam
