Wim | Relationship therapist and coach

Relationship therapy, coaching & couples counselling Delft

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If you are not easily reaching each other for a long time and you often do not feel understood, how do you get out of there?

Together we will look closely at what makes it difficult to reach each other. And you get concrete tools and exercises to start with. Once you practice new behaviour, you may find it hard to maintain when you're tired or stressed. A less constructive part of yourself seems to take over. What does it take to regain control again and respond from your healthy, mature self?

Communication

A relationship stands or falls with communication. But where exactly does it go wrong and how can you improve it? Using very clear models and exercises, you work on expressing what really matters to you. In the end, it is usually not so much about a certain irritation, but about your underlying feeling or need.

That can be anything, such as not feeling taken seriously or something else. And you learn not to respond immediately to the content of what the other person says, but first to ask what the other person moves. And if you are really bothered by the other person's behaviour, how do you say it so that it doesn't come across as offensive?

In addition, we will work on clarifying both your needs and expectations of your relationship, which are important to you from your own development. You often take more of your family of origin with you than you realize. And what do both need to keep responding from the healthy, adult part and not from a hurt child part or survival mechanism? Because then there can be a balanced and intimate connection.

 

 

About myself as a therapist

I often go deeper, because I believe that if something is touched in the underlying patterns, you can arrive at new (automatic) behaviour. This often concerns identity (self-esteem) or mission. How you act and how you feel is strongly related to how you look at yourself and how you give meaning to life.

Connecting your behaviour to your mission can provide a lot of space and energy. In counselling I like to go for such structural improvements, but always in connection with your wishes as clients.

An important basis for couples therapy is that it feels safe and a good intake contributes to this. It starts with a short introduction and continues with exploring and deepening the question. Often clients tell me that they feel safe quickly and sometimes things come up that they haven't shared before.

In my counselling I also find it important to reflect without judgment what strikes me. Leaving things unnamed doesn't help much.

I am familiar with an analytical world of thinking, I easily make connections and have a quick understanding. In the end it’s important to connect thinking and feeling.

 

 

Motive

It gives me a lot of energy and satisfaction to interact constructively with clients. Rather focused on sustainable healing than on an ad hoc solution.

This takes more time, but also yields more. I get a lot of energy from offering a safe environment, to experience moments of relief and discharge and to guide someone in taking structural steps.

The guidance does not feel heavy to me, my approach is to contribute to healing in a playful, relaxed and sometimes cheerful way.

 

 

Approach

In a therapy process I use both intuitive and result-oriented interventions. I often join in with what presents itself and meanwhile I give direction in the conversation what seems relevant to me. I combine that with a practical approach with tools (and homework) to work on different behaviour in concrete terms.

In addition, I draw from a wide range of methodologies and exercises, whichever suits your situation best. Your process is always central.

 

 

Goal

It's not strange what you're walking with. As an experienced counsellor I offer you recognition, clarification and humour. So that you (re)find the track with more self-confidence, peace, balance, energy, space and pleasure in your work and life.

 

In short, if you are looking for a therapist who…

o    advocates a practical approach with concrete steps

o    that offers you space and recognition

o    is accessible and that you can easily confide in

o    can make things shine a little lighter with humour every now and then

o    want to help you rewrite underlying patterns
contact me for a no-obligation intake.

In an intake interview you can see if it clicks and what I can do for you. If you do not want to continue or if I see reason to refer you, the intake is free of charge. If you do want to continue, than it is the first session. If an intake is canceled or moved shorter than 48 hours before the appointment then costs will be charged. 

 

Please contact me if you want to know more or make an appointment,

 

 

Wim